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What If Keanu Reeves Wakes Up From Cryonics?

Keanu Reeves. Photo: gawker.comVariety reports that a film called Passengers, currently in "advanced negotiations," has signed on Keanu Reeves for a most excellent adventure. On a "centuries-long interstellar voyage," he will — thanks to a computer glitch — wake up 90 years before everybody else and consume all the chips and beer, leaving only the bio-pork behind for his fellows. Or something like that. According to the Variety article, "Faced with the prospect of growing old and dying alone, he, in turn, awakens a beautiful woman." So they’re traveling thousands of years across interstellar space and they haven’t dealt with lifespan yet? Presumably Keanu got the full body freeze, otherwise he would have awakened as a beautiful woman. Excellent!

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